My cat Callie went missing for a week. Before then my cats lived happily (being sisters) since then my other cat Tricks is so mean to Callie. Chasing her around and the rest, I’d kept them separate, got them in a supervised room together, feed them near each other, used Feliway everywhere, I used every piece of advice I could get. It’s been a long time since then.
Literally today I got them back from a cattery where they were staying while I was on holiday and they stayed together. They had been getting on very well and as soon as I got them home it was back to the same behaviour. I’m so tired and stressed out and I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Dear Readers,
The problem here is that when Callie came back from being lost, she was frightened, and she smelled and acted differently. This created a dilemma for Tricks: Was she really Callie anymore?
In the new environment of the cattery, Tricks and Callie were both “starting from scratch.” In this strange place, they actually needed each other. They both went back to their previous memories of Callie, interacted in that same way, and got along.
We have our answer. To make this happen in our home, we recreate the cattery experience. This can be as simple as bringing them into a new room for them to interact in, and keep them there together. Then we can gradually reintroduce them to the rest of the home.
the extended body of environment
We often trip ourselves up because we fail to consider the incredible solidity of the cat’s environment. As humans, we are in what might be called the middle of the spectrum. Dogs feel strongly about certain aspects of their environment; we tap into their instincts to not “dirty the sleeping den” when we housetrain them, for instance. But mostly, dogs associate “home” with their pack, and this is why they are so willing to go anywhere with us. For them, home is where the heart is.
Humans love their homes, but usually understand leaving it for varying periods of time, and what they need to do to feel comfortable. For some it is laying out all of their personal care items in the temporary bathroom, or arranging the night table the way they have it at home. Still, most are able to handle the disruptions of travel, and enjoy it.
For cats, this is like dumping Ironman out of his suit at a crucial point in the battle. They feel that part of themselves has been drastically taken away, and this is highly upsetting.
If we have other cats at home, we might be familiar with the wary way the other cats react when one of them comes back from the vet. They smell funny! They act funny! They are all upset! Now I am upset too!
It can help a lot of we remember we are shaping the response our cats will have to what they experience.
the power of explanation
Over and over again, I emphasize how we can explain things to our cats. This is not the SATs where we expect the cat to write an essay on their verbal comprehension. The way I do it, it is a dramatic presentation.
I “go big” with gestures and facial expressions, but keep my voice soft and happy, as I explain what is going on. “Yes, Puffy came back from the vet staggering around and drooling, but that’s okay. He will get better. We are so glad to have Puffy back. This is not going to happen to you! Puffy had a tooth infection, but you are fine. Yes, he smells funny, but the vet’s office smells funny. That’s why. Don’t worry. I’m not worried! You don’t have to worry.”
And so forth.
When we first got a Litter Robot, I must have explained it, with car show modeling gestures, about thirty times. What it was, how it theoretically worked, and how happy we all will be. Sometimes only fifteen minutes would pass before James Bond and Puffy would re-appear, asking for me to explain it again.
While I believe cats have great understanding of what we tell them, this is based on our own body language, facial expressions, and our tone of voice. What they get is emotional information. We are telling them that we have things under control, that we are aware of their curiosity and/or distress, and that they can feel reassured about whatever is going on. While this does not always solve the problem, it does help matters greatly. Our cats know we care, and they know we are doing all we can.
If we have not attempted to explain, several times, what is going on, we might be surprised at how well explaining works.
the rewind of new territory
Why did Tricks and Callie get along while being boarded at the cattery? They were both new to this territory. Now, perspective had radically shifted.
Imagine a group headed abroad. While back at home they might not have much in common, they will wind up being much more appealing to each other when speaking our language and common backgrounds are now a rare connection. Likewise, Tricks found more things to be daunting than Callie once they were alone in a strange place.
We can recreate this situation by creating a new space for them, or using the bathroom to give Tricks a “time out” when she behaves badly towards Callie. This, in fact, might be what she is asking for.
Callie brought her distress back home when she returned. The distress is what Tricks is picking up on, and this is what Tricks is trying to “solve.” This is why she acts hostilely towards Callie; she doesn’t understand why Callie’s presence is upsetting. She only knows that it is.
To pick up on this advantage, we can recreate the circumstances.
training with drama
In such tough situations, I have had my best success by using the cat’s native language: body language. I call this training with drama. Sometimes, the best way to get an idea across to a cat is to get it across conceptually.
When I wanted to convey to Smokepuff that the new Litter Robot was safe to use, I put the old litter box next to it, but transferred the litter inside to the new device. When we wanted to let the cats know their new cat tree was fun for cats, we hung cat toys on it and rubbed it with Royal Nip. To let Tricks know that Callie is still the same old Callie, it can help to bring back their kittenhood, in the form of nicknames, toys, or rituals that will help them recall their happy closeness.
As always, we should be ridiculously cheerful when dealing with a source of cat stress that comes from cats fearing something they don’t need to be afraid of. I know it is difficult, but sometimes we make matters worse by acting upset with our cats acting upset.
They just need to know what’s going on. The more we can do that, the faster this misconception gets cleared up.
Three cats are a more stable configuration than two cats. It’s the gift of a third dimension.
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from
http://catsnthings.com/dear-pammy-they-wont-blend-anymore
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