Now, I also love cats. Because I realized what I really love about kittens is their potential to be cats.
No matter when we got our cat, they always started as a kitten. When my adult cats play, cuddle, or deeply ponder a puzzle, I see glimpses of how they were as kittens. In the present case, we did acquire these four cats as kittens. But that is not a necessary step to make the magic happen.
pretending
The greatest kitten cuteness is based on the hilarious fact that kittens demand to be taken seriously. Stalking a toy mouse, standing up (if only for a moment) against something scary, or going full tilt into a nap, kittens create comedy. Because they continually pretend to be adults.
It is what we all do, whether human toddler or feline fuzzbaby. We are learning what we are going to be.
I have to choose kittens for our tiny apartment, because I don’t have the room for Proper Introductions. But I don’t choose them for who they are as kittens. I dodge the territory protection instinct by choosing young cats who won’t trip that alarm, but I also choose them for who they will grow up to be. I choose kittens who will keep their social skills, and and not cause conflicts among the other cats.
The kitten is parent to the cat; what they tell me in their tiny state will come true in their adulthood.
The one kitten I didn’t pick, Tristan, is a kitten I would not have picked. He was too high energy, too demanding, too Alpha, for me to have chosen him on purpose. However, our commitment to giving him what he needed turned out to be able to match his needs; and I thought his social skills would help moderate his pestering the other cats for constant play. So we kept him. He fits right in, because he did live up to all his fantastic potential.
People choose kittens instead of older pets because of their uncertainty about what the adults were like as kittens. But we don’t have to make that decision for that reason. We can still tell.
That is why, when an adult cat at the shelter reaches for our hand and looks into our eyes, what they are saying is that they did learn. It doesn’t matter where they spent their kittenhood, if they managed to learn the right things.
growth is good
Sometimes, people sigh, and say things like, “Kittens are so cute, I wish they could be like this forever!”
No, we wouldn’t. I point out that the next twenty years of plucking the cat off things they shouldn’t be on would get really frustrating. Anyone with a highly Alpha cat type knows what it is like to have perpetual kitten energy putting the pedal to the metal all the time. Kittens are wonderful, but they are also a rather one-dimensional pet experience.
Part of kitten enjoyment is when they learn things.
I love watching those tiny buds of personality grow and bloom. When Reverend Jim begged to be fed in the kitchen “like a big boy,” it was a great day for all of us. He’d gotten a grip on the panic that made him run around frantically and eat from everyone else’s bowl. It was just the other week that Mithy climbed into my lap, and stayed. Both of these incidents were developmental milestones for these challenged kittens. They would not have happened if they did not grow, and develop, and eventually stop being kittens.
Because cats never stop growing and learning, given the opportunity. As I explain in When Cunning Peaks, our senior cats can become as active mentally as they once were physically. Whether it is practical jokes like hiding toy mice in our slippers (James Bond) or making a game of Hide & Seek when I come home (Tristan) our adult cats will come up with ways of keeping our relationship interesting.
Of course our heart melts with the tiny ones. Which is good, because they don’t know anything. There’s a lot of guidance in their future. One of the benefits of their growing up is that we get to relax.
cuteness underground
Besides, it’s not like the cuteness ever goes away. Tristan still makes me laugh, every single day. Because he’s learned how, and he wants to.
When any of our cats wants cuddles, I do Kitten Face; and there it is. Big-eyed and trusting, funny and sweet; that kitten is still there. I use their kitten nickname, and we both go back in time.
But I didn’t have to have them as kittens to do this. We can approach a cat in a highly trusting situation, give them a kitten nickname we only use at such times, and soon, there it is: their kitten face.
We can get them playing and rolling around on the floor with us. We can get them happy and cuddly and relaxed. We can revisit their baby days, any time.
This is what I did with my adult adoptions. At first, I was regretful I had not had them for always, especially if they showed signs of having a rough time. Then I would catch glimpses of their happy little baby faces, and it was more than enough to know that I was giving them that happy childhood, now. At such times, they would get their kitten nickname. Or three.
Because that trusting innocence is what people love about kittens. Being responsible for something tiny and trusting can bring out the best in us, and we like that part, too.
But our cat can need us at any age. They can appreciate our efforts, and give forth even more, when they are not a tiny trusting baby, but someone older and wiser and eager to get started.
Any cat can be the start of a beautiful friendship.
Find out more about the best age to adopt a cat.
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There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.
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