That it is a finite resource.
Many of those hostile to humane animal concerns have a central problem of understanding. They think this is a zero-sum game, where there is only so much to go around, and it must be rationed like rum on a sailing ship.
That is not how love works.
Love has many forms
Sure, I spoil the cats. Treats! Playtime! Let’s cuddle! I do similar things for Mr WayofCats. Fresh pie! New DVD! Let’s cuddle! I don’t see anything wrong with any of it.
I believe such accusations spring from underlying assumptions which only work if they lurk in unnamed darkness. If they are dragged out into the light and examined, they don’t make any sense. Misconceptions which continually get in the way of pet enlightenment seem to be a kind of jealous attitude, where fussing over a pet “seems wrong” to a person who has all kinds of rules in their head about what love is.
Anyone who sees this as a scarce resource is going to be upset when a “lesser” being is getting more of it than they are. If they don’t have enough, how dare it get “wasted” on something they seem to believe has no status, and thus, no rights.
This disdain can be particularly aimed at women and cats. There’s a set of meaningless “rules” that make it okay to love dogs, but not cats. And that doesn’t make any sense.
Especially since we don’t need anyone’s permission to love those who love us back.
Science blind spot
I have been criticized because of my view of cats as thinking, feeling, beings. I find it baffling that science discourages anthropomorphism to a most unscientific extent.
Biologically speaking, the cat brain is very similar to a human brain. This is particularly striking in the way cats process emotion and memory. It doesn’t seem logical that one mammal would have entirely different abilities and capabilities than the vast range of other species, some of whom are very similar to each other, and in some ways, to humans.
If we are the only ones with empathy and compassion, where did it come from?
Of course, I don’t believe we are the only ones. I have been so loved by cats and dogs, (even a favorite hamster,) that I don’t believe any species has an exclusive on thinking and feeling.
This is how all higher mammals work. We humans combine thought and emotion to guide our actions, along with some hard wired instincts. And so do cats.
If this were not true, my Way of Cats methods would not work. And yet… they do.
Extreme skepticism
Still, there are many people who seem unconvinced of true pet closeness. However, they seem to be the kinds of people who are suspicious of people, too. Cynics who think the worst of everyone are expressing a mindset, not a universal truth.
As I often tell them, “Just because you cannot understand it does not mean it does not exist. We are now discussing the limits of your imagination.”
Such people often seem to have trouble with the cooperative elements of social structure. They often claim a grasp of interaction which stresses a mechanical and calculative aspect. What they seek to reduce to raw quid pro quo is actually a far richer ethical landscape known as “social obligation.”
This is the weave which binds civilization together. It is how people create an enormous enterprise which exchanges resources and knowledge and cooperation. It is a recognition of when we owe someone, and the brain prompt which should not rest until we return the favor.
It is known as the Law of Reciprocity.
While long known in human societies, it was my own pleasure to discover that it also works with cats.
Once we have enough communication to give, and request, favors, we can create a harmonious relationship with our cats. Each of us gets what we want, and what we need. Each of us feels loved.
When I am upset or don’t feel well, Sir Tristan attaches himself to my person for hours on end. He kneads my chest and touches my nose with his. He is doing all he can to make me know he cares. He wants me to feel better. And, because he shows he cares, I do.
Yes, I’m saying it.
Love.
Learn about the cat’s Paw of Compassion.
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There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.
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