Because a cat’s first language is body language.
My cats know that an index finger pointed at them means they should rethink whatever-it-is. They recognize that patting my lap means it is open for cuddling business. A clenched fist to my heart that turns into an open hand means “I love you.”
Just as we are charmed when a foreign visitor learns some helpful phrases in our native language, so are cats.
speak their language
My gestures are in addition to my adoption of certain catspeak “phrases” that humans are able to do, like Cat Kisses, Big Giant Head, and The Nose Boop.
We may speak it with an accent, but they understand our meaning.
One of the barriers to humans using body language is that we don’t have a cat’s body. Without mobile ears and a long, expressive, tail, much of the language is not going to come out right. Our sheer size can make even a simple move like Shoulder Bump tricky to accomplish with a human shoulder.
However, we can use our Fist of Friendship to approximate a cat’s head, both in size and execution. When I use my fist to pet them, knuckle their head, and gently bump their shoulder, they get what I’m trying to say.
Using what I call Perspective Tricks let certain human body parts stand in for roughly equivalent cat body parts. Using our fist conveys closeness, and safety, while an open, grabby hand has a Villain Hands connotation.
This small difference is actually viewed as a very big distinction by our cats.
convey respect
Once I started understanding how my cats could pick up on the slightest change of expression, tilt of my head, or tiny gesture, I began using these communication techniques more often. Even if we don’t know what we are saying, it is an excellent way of silently communing with our cat from across a distance or when we are otherwise busy.
If we get an alert expression or a flickered ear, they are understanding that we are paying attention to them. If all it does is acknowledge our mutual loving presence, that’s still a great thing.
It is a more direct form of communication, because it doesn’t have to be translated in the cat’s head. They are more likely to look for meaning in our body movements than they are to interpret our language, especially since so much of our verbal language is not directed at them, or references things they do not understand. Our movements around the home reflect activities which may be pertinent to their interests. Whatever we are up to is always worth paying attention to.
I use this to reassure a visiting cat while a friend and I are watching a movie, or calm them down when something noisy is happening. If there’s a new flavor in the can, I do elaborate gestures with it, like a stage magician. It’s all part of making them a part of the moment.
Cats like being intrigued, having their concerns addressed, and giving them ideas for further interpretation. My cats don’t always know what I am getting at, any more than I instantly understand their own behavior, but we both enjoy the process.
The more we attempt communication, the better our skills become.
training is communication
The Way of Cats is all about trading favors for each other, and it’s difficult to do that if we don’t know what we are negotiating. Any attempts to communicate with our cat using body language gives us points for effort.
But it can wind up doing much more for us.
We recently had a breakthrough with Mithy, where he began seeking out my lap. I am sure it helped when I would say his name, get his attention, and then mime petting a cat in my lap. This could be you, I was saying. You could be getting this petting.
Body language is especially important to cats who are not as fluent in verbal language, like Mithy. Our other cats are highly adept at understanding what we say, while for Mithy, actions speak louder than words. He reacts more, and more positively, when we reach out, literally.
Since cat vision is so attuned to movement, we might be surprised at how small a motion our cats can detect. They can pick up a cat kiss, a small smile, a single finger gesture; all from across the room. This can be a quiet way of having that moment of connection which cats so appreciate.
Of course, there are times when a whispered nickname, as when a cat is napping or otherwise looking elsewhere, will be the best tool for the job. It is all part of making ourselves part of our cat’s Giant Sensory Map.
We let them know they are part of ours.
Find out more about cats and body language.
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